Waking Up with a Stoma

Waking Up with a Stoma

I remember the day I woke up with a stoma.

And to be honest it wasn’t a good day.

My surgery went well, at least that’s what they told me. But coming out of anesthesia was rough. When I finally woke up, I pulled the covers down to see what had changed.

My body didn’t feel like mine.

My rear end was taped together. There was a bag attached to my stomach.
That was the moment it became real.

I now had a stoma.

I had imagined what life might look like after surgery but nothing prepares you for actually seeing it. My mind went straight to the worst places.

I wasn’t happy.

I cried.

I felt depressed in a way I hadn’t before.

But when the doctors came in, I smiled.

Because that’s what we do sometimes.

In my head, I kept thinking:

“This isn’t how my life was supposed to go.”

One minute I was fine.

The next, cancer had taken over and, in some ways, it felt like it won.

I was alive, yes.

But I was also left with something permanent.

A constant reminder.

The doctors meant well, but they didn’t really see me in that moment.

They told me it was time to get up and walk.

So, I tried.

I leaned forward and immediately felt the pressure from the wound. I dropped back onto the bed. Took a breath. Then tried again.

This time I rolled to my side, swung my legs over, and with help from the nurses, I stood up.

That’s when I noticed the wound vacuum attached to me.

I remember thinking:

Seriously? One more thing?

I was frustrated. Honestly… I was pissed off.
But I wasn’t stopping.

I took my first step.

Then another.

I made it across the room and paused by a chair. The doctor told me to sit.

I looked at him like he had to be joking.

He wasn’t.

I tried.

Lowered myself slowly…

Halfway down, the pain hit and the tears came immediately.

“I can’t sit anymore,” I thought.

“How am I ever going to sit in a car again?”

That moment broke me.

A nurse stepped in and helped me back to bed.

After everyone left, the room got quiet.

That’s when your mind starts to wander.

Mine went dark for a bit.

But then… something shifted.

I remember thinking:

“My life is different now… but it’s not over.”

That thought didn’t fix everything, but it was enough to pull me back.

I told myself:

“I can do this.”

Then the door opened.

My husband walked in, smiled at me and that was it.

That was the moment I knew:

I’m not doing this alone.

This is a new chapter.

One I didn’t ask for.

One I didn’t plan.

But it’s mine.

And now it’s time to figure it out.

I know there will be good days and bad days.

I know I’ll make mistakes.

That’s part of it.

Right now, the focus is simple:

Heal.

Adjust.

Keep moving forward.

And if you’re in that moment right now just waking up to this new reality…

You’re not alone.

Take it one step at a time.

Be Kind to Yourself.